Leave me a comment and I will reply with why I like you. If I don't know you, I'll either make something up or tell you why I like your LiveJournal. You must pay for the privilege by posting a message like this one on your LiveJournal.

My LiveJournal Trick-or-Treat Haul
Metallicajeremy goes trick-or-treating, dressed up as Vincent Valentine.
emeraldtsurugi gives you 18 milky white evil-flavoured pieces of bubblegum.
ginnekomiko gives you 1 light green mint-flavoured gummy worms.
ginslittleworld gives you 18 teal spearmint-flavoured pieces of taffy.
l3lacksage tricks you! You get an eraser.
xneonmoonx gives you 2 light green apple-flavoured pieces of chewing gum.
Metallicajeremy ends up with 39 pieces of candy, and an eraser.
Go trick-or-treating! Username:
Another fun meme brought to you by rfreebern.

Damn you Peter! >.

So, I've been having lots of fights with my dad over the last few weeks, and to put a long story short I need to find a place to live.

Fast.

I've got about 30 days left before I have to live on the streets, and my buddy John Michaels is with me. Hopefully he can get a job soon, so we'll have money to move into a place. Otherwise, I may have to bump at my mom's place for a bit until my buddy Matt comes down in November/December.

So yeah, I'm a bit flustered. I have to get my shit packed and ready to go soon. I don't have much, but it's the whole FINDING a place to live that will be time consuming...

and now, for something stolen from Alanna!

01) Are you currently in a serious relationship?
02) What was your dream growing up?
03) What talent do you wish you had?
04) If I bought you a drink what would it be?
05) Favorite vegetable?
06) What was the last book you read?
07) What zodiac sign are you?
08) Any Tattoos and/or Piercings? Explain where.
09) Worst Habit?
10) If you saw me walking down the street would you offer me a ride?
11) What is your favorite sport?
12) Do you have a Pessimistic or Optimistic attitude?
13) What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me?
14) Worst thing to ever happen to you?
15) Tell me one weird fact about you.
16) Do you have any pets?
17) What if I showed up at your house unexpectedly?
18) What was your first impression of me?
19) Do you think clowns are cute or scary?
20) If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be?
21) Would you be my crime partner or my conscience?
22) What color eyes do you have?
23) Ever been arrested?
24) Bottle or can soda?
25) If you won $10,000 today, what would you do with it?
27) What's your favorite place to hang out at?
28) Do you believe in ghosts?
29) Favorite thing to do in your spare time?
30) Do you swear a lot?
31) Biggest pet peeve?
32) In one word, how would you describe yourself?
33) Do you believe/appreciate romance?
34) Favourite and least favourite food?
35) Do you believe in God?
36) Will you repost this so I can fill it out and do the same for you?

I've determined that bowling is the devil. Not only do I suck, but it always reminds me exactly how single I am.

It seems like every girl that goes bowling with me(or with the whole group, rather)(and if I know them)(and if I like them) will always and forever be TAKEN or NOT INTERESTED in a relationship with me.

I guess I'm destined not to be in a relationship right now. Or, I could be looking in the wrong place for girls. Looking for a relationship with people I work with could be complicated. I mean, most of them are underage anyway, besides being taken, of course.

I just wish some nice girl would come up and slap me, and tell me they loved me. Or, I could go for SOMETHING. I really could go for a date or such, just to make sure that SOMEONE could be REMOTELY interested in me... Grrr....

"If you could go back and fix your most regrettable decision, what would it be, and what would you do differently?"

I would probably have not moved in with my ex-girlfriend. Or, rather, not dated my ex at all. She caused me so much pain and suffering, and to this day I still can't talk to her or talk about her without getting angry. I could live without this. Who knows where I would be now with my friends and whatnot, either. I know I lost a few friends when I got deep into that relationship, and I almost lost even more.

I'd also have a better standing with my job had I not dated her...instead of being pinned on bad attitudes and attendance issues. I would then be making more money...

Damn. This just angers me more and more...

ok, so here's the lowdown on everything that has happened in my life over the past couple months, and why I haven't been on LJ for the longest while:

For one, if you knew or didn't know, I had been dating someone from last may until this past January. I had been living with her the whole time. I know, I rushed into that one WAY too fast. But, nonetheless, I had loved her. I had loved her as much as I could have loved someone as young as I am could have loved. Well, things happened and I moved out, mostly to try and get things running a bit slower. I mean, I'm was just 19 years old. I wasn't ready for a relationship of that magnitude. Apparently, that was a bit much for her, and she left me for some other guy.
Needless to say, I was pretty heartbroken. So heartbroken, in fact, that I couldn't stop crying for days on end. I was just one huge mess... This break-up caused me to spiral downward into depression pretty hard, and only recently(after a few months) have I returned from that state.

Secondly, ever since moving back in with my dad, he's become somewhat of an Alcoholic. Ok, I lied. He's always been an alcoholic, but only after moving back in with him have I realized what catastrophic results it's had on my state of mind. Now, I not only have to take care of myself, but I also have to take care of my father. It's a bit much for one to take, especially someone like myself who can't really take care of...himself.
I've been battling with HIS inner demons for a long time, and needless to say I've made little to no progress. When he does come out of his hole and back into the world of the living, it's only for a week or so at a time, then he's back down into hell, sucking from a bottle of whiskey--looking for comfort in all the wrong places.

Lastly, I've been in desperate need of a wake-up call, and I got just the thing last night. My good friend, Katelin gave me just the talk and advice I needed to do something I've been wanting to do for a very, very, VERY long time--something I missed out on doing years ago, back in high school even. Well, I'm not sure about the results(even though I've got a good idea that I will fail. I've ruined things pretty badly for the other person in this situation, and I'm not sure if there ever was a recovery from what happened) but I am still going to try. I don't have anything to lose except for loneliness...

grr. Life can be kind of stressful. An alcoholic father can do that to you. So can a shitty job...

So much so that I forget about something I used to do every day.

So much so that life can pass me by without any notice.

Well, I apologize to everyone here. I did not mean to forget everyone...

I'm back! ...For the most part. :P

"The Kyle" milkshake from Shari's. Mmm-mmm-mmm, delicious. I wish I could have patented that one.

Oh, and I'm almost ready to build my computer. For those of which do not know, I love computers(even though they hate me), and I've been looking to build one for a while. Well, once I get a bit more money in, I want to build one. I've got the parts I would want and everything, though I could probably go a little extreme and make it so I would never have to buy another computer again for as long as I had this one...but that's not my style.

I only need enough to get me by, and it looks like about 500-600 would do me plenty. I've already got about 350, but I could use another 600 to finalize a lot of shit. I.E., a brand new monitor. I've got an old 17-inch CRT monitor from Dell, which does well enough for me, but I need a little somethin-somethin to show off my new computer once I build it. No sense in using a terrible engine for a brand new car, I say...

Well, Spring Break is nigh and I can't wait to hang out with a few people. The road trip to Seaside sounds awesome, and hanging out with the ever-so-amazing, and ever-so-funny Alanna will be awesome too. Oh man, I have my friends back! And all it took was having my ex-grilfriend break up with me. Well...I'll accept that as an AWESOME trade. I'll take my friends over women ANYDAY.

Well, as I reflect on the past year some more, I've started coming to terms with everything. I apologize for being so emotional, but I happen to be a sensitive guy, as well as bi-polar enough to notice.

It turns out that there's nothing I can do to mend things between Bobbi and I. I'm starting to accept that. I still love her and I wish I could call her mine, but I can't. Not anymore. I goofed up a bit and, well, didn't do enough to fix it. I can only reflect on this and try not to make the same mistake next time(assuming there will be a next time). I guess I am just going to take the next block of time(however long it may be) and focus on going back to school. Relationships are TOTALLY worth the pain of breakup, but not right now. I want to succeed in life, and I'd rather not spiral downwards anymore for a while.

It'll be somewhat of a breather, though. I get a long-awaited break from it all(though, again, I wasn't planning it). The good news, though, is that Bobbi and I are still friends. I'm glad. I can be somewhat of a jerk at times, and I'm glad I didn't do that this time.

To everyone else: Thank you for being there. I haven't really talked to many about this, but to those I HAVE talked to thank you. I appreciate you guys...

--Jeremy

What can I say? I have had a terrible YEAR, in retrospect. I must've done something HORRIBLE to someone in my life, because I've basically done a complete 180 degree turn. I've pretty much been cast out from my circle of friends(I don't know what I did, but I'm sorry. I miss all of my friends dearly, and I wish we could all hang out again), leaving me with what little friends I have made at work, and I've lost 2 girlfriends. The first one, I ended up treating like shit in the very end(and over the whole relationship, actually), so I can understand why she doesn't like me. I mean, let's face it: I got selfish. I deserved any and all hatred she may or may not still have. The second one, I got selfish yet again, and just couldn't see myself living with her because it was so costly. Well, from there, we then kind of grew apart over the next month or so and I stupidly did nothing about it. I even saw her slipping away, and I was just too busy being a jackass to see it.

I pretty much fucking hate myself right now. Never has any one year of my life been filled with so much regret and sorrow, as well as hatred. Hatred for myself for being a COMPLETE AND UTTER DOUCHE-BAG!! Wtf. Will I ever learn?? Or am I doomed to love someone for a while and then take them for granted for the rest of my life?

To the women I've hurt in the last 12 months: I'm sorry. I'm sorry for being such a prick to you both. I deserve any feelings of anger you feel towards me. I only hope that you two will forgive me one day, though I honestly understand if you don't want to. I mean, I even see myself as being an asshole.

Sincerely yours, Jeremy.

P.S. I want you both to know that I never stopped loving you, and that I finally realized what I had when it was gone. It SO fucking sucks to be me right now.